20 posts tagged “music:country”
Lately, I've had trouble sleeping at night, and so on occasion I've found myself watching TV late at night, which usually means watching things I would never otherwise watch. For example, the other night I wasted two hours of my life watching first an episode of "The Real Housewives of Atlanta" and then "The Rachel Zoe Project." Who the fuck are these people? There is nothing at all real about any of them. I did like how all the African-American housewives took care to note that there are just a lot more opportunities for African-Americans in Atlanta; I find that amusing since non-Southerners tend to associate the South with intractable racism. And I've known some women vaguely like some of them, but really, if the focus of your day is how you look, you are not busy, you are not stressed, and you are very shallow and irritating to those of us who have things to do that do not involve makeup. I don't mean disrespect to women who wear makeup, but seriously? If that's your entire day? You need to figure out something productive to do for society or else you need to stop wasting all that oxygen you insist on breathing. I have to assume for the sake of my sanity that these are "reality" shows in name only and that nobody is actually like that...otherwise, my head will burst into flame. Spontaneous combustion is so cool.
Anyway, then I also watched the final hour (thus, the final Top 20) of the Top 100 Hip Hop Songs of all time. I think this was on VH1, which devotes large portions of its programming to such countdowns, apparently. It was interesting viewing. Several interesting things came to my attention during this hour: 1. Whatever you might say or think about Kanye West and however much you might regret this, you can't really help but have a crush on him. Or, I can't. It isn't just the argyle, either, though I am a sucker for argyle. 2. Public Enemy's "Fight the Power" was #1, as I think it should have been, but I thought this was interesting because I have been repeatedly told that liking Public Enemy is, like, so white. OK, so I'm white, and I like Public Enemy because they're literate, articulate, and ferocious (I'm not trying to perpetuate the black-man-as-aggressive stereotype, but Public Enemy wrote some angry damn music, and with good reason). I don't really get how that makes it "white" to like them. Anyway, I was glad to see it at #1.
And the third thing, and I'm not entirely sure what to say about this, is that one of the songs (I think it was one by, um, Notorious BIG? Maybe? I was drowsy, and I wasn't familiar with the song, so I didn't pay it proper attention, I guess) led the commentators to make grandiose comments about how this rapper had worked his way into the national consciousness and how the song had, too. Uhhhhhh...
It take a lot for something to work its way into the national consciousness. I mean, you're talking about a pretty big, pretty diverse country here, in a lot of ways. What does it even mean to say that a song or a performer is in our national consciousness? I mean, there are clearly artists you can make that argument about, but Notorious BIG is probably not one of them. Public Enemy, probably--there'd be a good argument for that. Run-DMC, maybe. Snoop and Dre, quite possibly; I know there were years there where they were at the very least entirely unavoidable. Ice-T has in some way because of "Cop Killer" and the controversy that went with it.
And I think to me, that's the point. If something is truly a part of our national consciousness, then that thing is unavoidable in some way. Familiarity with it (not to say enjoyment of it, which is a separate thing) crosses subcultural lines, crosses generational lines, and it sticks around. I mean, "Gin and Juice" is still, all these years later, as present as it ever was (I don't like Snoop Dogg at all, but I find that song utterly infectious and impossible to ever really be free of--I'd even go so far as to say I like that song, but that would violate all my principles as an anti-Snoop). None of Public Enemy's songs were really quite that catchy, but "Fight the Power" still carries a relevant message delivered in a powerful way; it hasn't diminshed over the years. Ditto "Straight Outta Compton." These are songs and performers that have in some way worked themselves into the national consciousness.
But, frankly, I only ever heard of Notorious BIG, just like I've only ever heard of this Fifty Cent character. I find their music not only forgettable but avoidable. Perhaps it would be less avoidable if I lived in an urban area, but out here in the boonies, man, it hasn't entered our consciousness at all. I only listen to Kanye because I saw him in argyle once and was intrigued. I lived in the boonies when some of the other Top 20 hip hop songs came out, though, and I can attest that when a song is really unavoidable, it's unavoidable out here, too. There was no escaping "Push it Real Good" or "Baby Got Back" or Run-DMC's classics, especially "Walk this Way" of course. There was no escaping "Parents Just Don't Understand" either, but, sadly, that didn't make the Top 20, even though Will Smith's career has far surpassed Flavor Flav's at this point (I feel so bad for Flav every time I see "Flavor of Love" is on...please, someone, find the man some love and get him off that shitty show...he's Flavor Flav, for fuck's sake, shouldn't he have some dignity???)
In fact, I would go so far as to say that MC Hammer is more a part of our national consciousness than Notorious BIG ever was or will be.
Anyway, I was reading an online music review site a while ago, too, that suggested the same thing about Gwen Stefani's "Hollaback Girl." That it was a part of the national consciousness. I'm not sure how that could possibly be true, since I don't think I've ever even heard it, and I'm quite certain most of the people I talk to on a daily basis don't know that song, either.
This is all just to say that I think some people get overly inflated ideas about the importance and relevance of the music (and movies...and books) that they like. Country music is still the biggest selling genre overall in America, and there are still more country music radio stations than any other genre. You may not like that, but that's a fact. I suppose that's why everybody is making "country" albums these days--Jessica Simpson, Kid Rock, even Snoop Dogg himself, that bastard. Yet you don't see most country stars on the covers of People and Us, even though arguably more people know and listen to Kenny Chesney than to almost any other working American musical artist. We who listen to country music don't sit around pontificating about how Kenny Chesney has worked himself into the national consciousness, although judging by sheer numbers, he has. Garth Brooks certainly did; so did Johnny Cash, though most people only jumped on the bandwagon once Rick Rubin entered the picture. There are others, of course: Dolly Parton, Loretta Lynn (at least at one point--she was on The Muppet Show once, for example...oh, and then she did do a mindblowingly great album with that fella from The White Stripes), Willie Nelson, The Dixie Chicks though unfortunately more for their politics than for their music...yet country music is really the one kind of music that the kind of people who make pronouncements about our culture don't seem to feel a need to take seriously, certainly not to the point where they would suggest country artists who have entered the national consciousness.
Meh, anyway, fight the power, people. Also, don't watch after-midnight television because it will bruise and batter your soul. For the record, I'm not a big Kenny Chesney fan. I like some of his songs, though, like the newish one he has out with The Wailers.
Show us a music video that tells a great story.
Submitted by notreallylois.
Well, this one is the nouveau classique:
This one amuses me:
Blake does a lot of these, some of which are arguably better songs. Fer instance:
Or this one, a song I like a lot (though I find the video mediocre):
Then again, country music is kind of full of story songs, and it makes sense that a lot of the videos are also stories.
Ah, I was all set to post another gripe session about a couple things, but I'll get around to that some other time. For right now, I'm apparently feeling violent. It's Miranda Lambert's fault.
I love Miranda Lambert. I haven't loved every one of her songs, for sure. But she's a great songwriter and so gorgeous that I have this major crush on her. Her hips are delicious. Oooh, I'm objectifying. Anyway, the more important thing is that she writes some kick-ass country songs, and she's just getting better all the time. This song, to me, this is what country music is all about.
This video is not the real one, but I found this one on teh UToob and I like it a lot. If you want to see Miranda Lambert looking kinda smoking hot, try this
Yeah, so I guess she's an arsonist and a killer. Sweet.
Anyway, it reminds me of this (sorta) oldie but (total) goodie: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GovJ4jAnr14 (sorry, can't embed, but it's the Dixie Chicks with the abusive-husband-killing classic, "Goodbye Earl."
Of course, if your man commits the lesser crimes of cheating or just being a general dick, and you don't feel like setting his house on fire like Miranda does, consider the Louisville Slugger, as Carrie Underwood (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vSG4Cml7HXs&feature=related) and the chick in this Jack Ingram video have.
Damn YouTube. I don't know why the whole video isn't there--it's too bad, because the ending is the best part of the video. But you get the idea.
Oh, you pretty ladies. I love it when you don't take no shit.
I've listened to country music my entire life, and I've always loved it. Whether the country music in question has been Buck Owens or Lucinda Williams, Randy Travis or Jerry Jeff Walker, it has always sounded like the truest, realest music to me. It has always been music about my life and perfectly suited to the landscape it comes from.
But, you know, eventually I went off to college and got all surrounded by city people--people who drive 4-wheel drives that have never been off road--and learned to my dismay that country music is not acceptable. Oh, sure, the occasional person might sniff something about Johnny Cash (particularly since his American Recordings) or maybe Hank Williams--and there has been some interest in alt.country singers like Gillian Welch and Kelly Willis in recent years. Mainstream country, though--country radio? No way.
Now, most of the time this seems to me a kneejerk reaction. Most of these people have no idea at all what is even on country radio. Yet they completely dismiss an entire genre of music in a way that would be considered ignorant or even racist if the music in question were, say, rap instead of country.
That isn't actually the part that bothers me. Fine, you don't want to listen to country--I could give a fuck. What bothers me is that the automatic assumption about country music is that it is ignorant, backwards in all its social outlooks, and jingoistic. Toby Keith is often cited in defense of those positions, primarily because his obnoxious song about sticking a boot up someone's ass is one of the only country songs of recent years people even know of.
To argue, though, that mainstream country is all like Toby Keith (who is, anyway, a registered Democrat) is akin to saying that all of rap is about fucking bitches and then shooting them. It says way more about what you've heard than the genre itself. And I'm really starting to resent the implication that everyone who listens to country is some stupid hillbilly who doesn't know what a latte is.
I was just listening, yet again, to one of my favorite songs of the past year, Dierks Bentley's "Every Mile a Memory." It's not a political song at all, and none of his songs really are, so I have no idea where he stands on the patriotism question or on the war or any of that. It doesn't have an especially country sound (which I guess irritates the purists, but to hell with them). What it does have are some incredibly well-written and (can I even say this?) poetic lyrics. It's a beautiful song. Words like that aren't written by the kind of person the average country listener is alleged to be.
Or there is the case of Brad Paisley's "Alcohol." I don't know--are there mainstream songs hitting the top of the charts in other genres that reference Hemingway? Yeah, we're all just a bunch of ignorant hillbillies sitting around out here making jokes about Hemingway. I remember as a kid listening to that Don Williams song--is it called "Good Old Boys"?--and he says, "Those Williams boys they still mean a lot to me, Hank and Tennessee" and wondering what the hell? I knew Hank Williams, sure enough, but what had Tennessee to do with anything. Obviously, I figured out that he meant the playwright. Hmm, yeah, another stupid redneck.
As far as the war songs and the jingoism goes, it is true that following 9/11 there was an upsurge in that kind of shit. It is also true that country music listeners (and makers) have a strong link to the military; the South is a military place (I just read somewhere that nearly half of Army recruits are from the South, which is amazing considering how small the South is). It is also true, though, that Alan Jackson's song about 9/11 gets more consistent radio play these days than the Toby Keith ass-kicking ones (and also won more awards and sold more copies, etc.). While some of you undoubtedly dislike the Christian bent of it, you can easily recast it in more secular terms (though you sacrifice melodic structure and rhyme): Faith, hope, and love are some great things we're capable of, and the greatest is love. There's your fucking jingoism. Incidentally, while these songs don't make radio anymore, Willie Nelson, Merle Haggard, Emmylou Harris, and other huge country stars all came out with antiwar songs--not to mention, of course, my beloved Steve Earle who came out with, like, a couple of antiwar albums, not just a song.
And I know some people are going to be all "Dixie Chicks!" Yeah, I love 'em, they're awesome, and what happened sucked. But it's also something of an anomaly. It's true that radio stations don't play Willie's antiwar songs, but they really just don't play Willie Nelson at all anymore. He's considered alt.country now, too, because...well, who knows why, really, but he actually always was alt.country, but back then they called it "Outlaw." Whatever. Anyway, other country stars have, in fact, criticized the president in bold, blunt terms and not suffered the fate of the Dixie Chicks.
Oh, and one more thing about the Dixie Chicks: In 2002 (therefore, after the hubbub) CMT (like MTV of country music) ranked the Chicks #13 on their list of the 40 most important women in country music. In subsequent years, when CMT has done specials ranking the 100 best country songs of all time and the 40 greatest country albums of all time, the Chicks have made those lists, too. So, country music did not entirely become rabid anti-Chicks as is often suggested.
I also don't really know where the opinion that country music has really backwards views of women comes from. I assume it has something to do with "Stand by Your Man." Whenever someone says something like that, though, I just want to wave "It Wasn't God Who Made Honky Tonk Angels" or pretty much anything by Loretta Lynn, but especially "The Pill," in their faces.
I don't know. I think I could have made this post--and, indeed, my entire Vox blog--shorter if I'd just said, "You know, if you want to call something 'ignorant' maybe ya ought to know what you're talking about first."
This is slightly belated, but whatever. Happy New Year everyone.
The Best Mainstream Country Songs of 2007 (not necessarily in order--I never can decide what was "the very top best") [the links are all to YouTube videos, though not all of them are the original videos, as I couldn't find all of them. I could post mp3s if anyone gives a damn.]:
1. Craig Morgan, "International Harvester"
2. Brad Paisley, "Ticks"
3. Miranda Lambert, "Famous in a Small Town"
4. Blake Shelton, "Nobody But Me"
5. Tim McGraw & Faith Hill (and I never thought I'd put them on my list, but damn--hate the video though), "I Need You"
6. Tim McGraw, "If You're Reading This"
7. Josh Turner, "Firecracker"
8. Trisha Yearwood, "Heaven, Heartache, and the Power of Love"
9. LeAnn Rimes, "Nothin' Better to Do"
10. Sugarland, "Stay"
11. Jason Aldean, "Johnny Cash"
12. Alan Jackson, "A Woman's Love"
13. George Strait (or Kelly Willis--both versions are great, I think), "Wrapped"
14. Tracy Lawrence, "Find Out Who Your Friends Are"
15. George Strait, "It Just Comes Natural"
16. Little Big Town, "Good as Gone"--or, wait, was that 2006? Whatever, it's a cool song.
17. Dierks Bentley, "Long Trip Alone" (If "Every Mile a Memory" was in 2007, then that should be on here, too. I love that song incredibly much.)
18. Jack Ingram, "Measure of a Man"
19. Jake Owen, "Starting with Me"
20. Blake Shelton, "Don't Make Me"
Brad Paisley put out a bunch of awesome songs this year, as usual. The man's a nonstop awesome machine (I'm starting to think Josh Turner and Dierks Bentley fall into that category as well). Among them were the above-mentioned "Ticks" plus "Online" which I've posted before (for Kimura) and "Letter to Me."
I also thought Montgomery Gentry's "Lucky Man" and "What do you Think About That?" were pretty good songs as well, but damn that man can't sing and their videos nearly always creep me out. Crossing Dixon's "Guitar Slinger" interests me, although it reminds me in places of Bon Jovi's "Wanted Dead or Alive." At least it doesn't remind me of "Bad Medicine"--I guess they're saving that for their second single. I know nothing about this Crossing Dixon group. Maybe they're like really old, and I just never heard of them before this.
Hmm, I think "As If" by Sara Evans should get an honorable mention, because I sure did enjoy it even if I am not sure it has long-term staying power. But lines like, "I love the way you wear those worn-out blue jeans, walking all around in the big sunshine, baby let me believe that you're perfect, at least for a little while. You don't have to tell me what you're thinking; you can keep all that to yourself." Ah, objectify the male, Sara--I love it.
Also, Garth Brooks appears to be back. The song was alright--not my favorite he's ever done, but not bad. It ain't no "Rodeo." We'll see where it goes. Oh, wait, wait--was "Good Ride, Cowboy" this year? If it was, it should be on the list.
I always wonder if y'all who don't listen to country music know what some of this stuff even means. Like when he mentions Chris LeDoux's Copenhagen smile or when Brad Paisley mentions a Skoal ring, do you know what they're talking about? Wait--do you even know who Chris LeDoux was? Hmmmm. I wonder if there's a culture gap here.
Continuing:
Some Things I Learned in 2007
- The sex life of corn is very intricate.
- Some people have an irrational hatred of country music.
- Most of them have never really listened to it.
- I am never going to be a city person.
- T can only tolerate so many visits from the Mormons.
- My son loves me.
- Brandywine tomatoes are indeed the most delicious thing ever created. I'd live off of them if I could.
- Having health insurance in no way suggests you can actually afford health care.
- However, our dental cleanings are now free, twice a year. I'm big on dental hygiene.
- The immigration people are occasionally reasonable (T got his permanent residency card this year, yay!).
- The people who most need birth control don't use it.
- Eventually, even I need to sleep. And that eventuality is right now.
So, I gather that none of you who faithfully read this also regularly listen to country music. But there is this duo called "Big and Rich" or maybe "Big & Rich." They are two guys, Big Kenny and John Rich--thus the clever name. In appearance and affinities, they seem to be two very different men. Maybe that's what contributes to my overwhelming sense of WTFF? every time I hear them.
John Rich used to be a member of Lonestar, I guess, although I try not to hold that against him. He is also without doubt one of the most talented songwriters in mainstream country these days. Out of any given week's Top 10 list, he will have written at least one of them, and there have been weeks that 3 or 4 of the Top 10 have been his songs. Some of these are cowritten by Big Kenny, too. They've included hits by Gretchen Wilson, Faith Hill, Jason Aldean, and a whole bunch of other people.
So, obviously, these two guys--especially Rich--have talent. Which just begs the question: WTFFF?
The songs that Big & Rich write for themselves and then sing for themselves are a very, very mixed bag. I've liked some of them very much, and I sincerely appreciate their efforts to integrate country music by foisting Cowboy Troy (a black, rapping cowboy--yes, that is as terrible as it sounds, though Troy himself seems an amiable sort). I dig the whole "Country Music without Prejudice" scene. I like that they don't give a damn about mixing their country and their rock, because (as I've said before) I think the distinction is mostly artificial. I like to ride down the highway and shout, "Save a horse, ride a cowboy." I mean, who doesn't like that?
But then some of their songs are so horrifyingly bad as to be country music travesties. "Lost in this Moment" is one of the most objectionable songs I've heard in years (right up there with that Faith Hill song "Like We Never Loved At All" which I think John Rich also wrote). "Holy Water" is also appalling.
So...what's the deal? What's with the "good song-horrifying song" routine? I've heard some people say that Big & Rich are too commercial and sellouts and that sort of thing, but that seems to me untrue. It is obvious that John Rich can write super-commercial megahits; he does it all the time. All he would have to do is keep those songs for Big & Rich instead of handing them over to Jason Aldean and others. Instead, he and Big Kenny sing, um, an odd collection of songs that I can only assume represent some sort of personal artistic vision. But...what that vision is, other than the anti-racist message, is mysterious to me.
I wish they'd get it straightened out and send a consistent message so I could decide if I like them or detest them or find them just kind of meh. Of course, if they ever release a sequel to "Lost in this Moment," they will be officially dead to me.
Oh, and also...Kenny and John: You guys don't really sing very well. Like Montgomery Gentry, y'all do fine on the uptempo barn-burners where a smooth, melodious voice isn't necessary. Save the crooning for someone who can croon, though, alright?
Recently there's a song on country radio--I know neither the title nor the "artist"--that mentions the singer's (or, more likely, writer's) 401(k), and I find myself repulsed by that. To me, that is a sign of the degradation of country music, the takeover of my beloved genre by the aging Baby Boomers and other totally boring people. A 401(k)? You're supposed to die way before you take retirement, from all the years of honky-tonkin and fast women and stuff.
*sigh* And now this and this. Rock has gone lame, too. Of course, there was a time when rock and country were not quite so differentiated; listen to Johnny Cash's Sun recordings and Elvis Presley's and you'd be hard put to tell which were "country" and which were "rock." So, I guess it makes sense. The lameness is occurring in sync.
And everyone knows punk is dead. Dead, dead, dead. Jazz is a wasted shell of its former self.
To hell with the whales. Whole genres of our beloved and enchanting native music are dying, being eviscerated by whiny white guys who just want to do some cardio and maybe sip some mineral water before surfing the Internet. DOES NO ONE CARE????*
So, great, that leaves us with Eminem yelping juvenile jokes about his pee-pee or whatever the fuck.
/wrists**
*Yeah, I know, just as there are still whales floating about and polluting our oceans, artists exist in all of these genres who are still rockin and dying young and shouting out great lyrics and all of it. I know. Please don't get all up in my face about whatever unknown rock band you listen to who is still so totally rocking and keeping it real. I don't care. I'm generalizing about genres here.
This brings up an important question: By what miracle is Keith Richards still alive?
**Yeah, I got that from you, Inci. Enjoy.
If y'all don't know who Toby Keith is and/or you haven't heard this new song of his, this post might not make sense to you. Just so you know.
Listen, Toby, you ass. I've complained before about how much of an ass you are, but this time you've crossed the line. This song is insupportable--I simply will not tolerate it, not a second longer. You should have titled it, "I'm a Self-Righteous, Hypocritical Ass." Then at least there would be some honesty about the thing.
You believe in free speech so much, eh? You didn't seem to believe in it so strongly when it was the Dixie Chicks doing the talking. As I recall, Natalie Maines really got under your skin with her freedom of speech, and an ugly exchange between you and the Chicks ensued. I guess you believe she's free to say anything she wants as long as it doesn't upset you? That's some radical freedom there. I already know what you would say--you'd say that you support her right to say it, and then you support your own right to respond with off-topic, mean-spirited ad hominem attacks. Yeah, you're just like Tom Paine, man. Just like him.
Hang on a second. I continue to have difficulty believing that the man who wrote and recorded such songs as "I Wanna Talk About Me" attacked the artistic credibility of Natalie Maines. The mind simply boggles. Gee, Natalie Maines wrote "Sin Wagon" while you wrote "Who's Your Daddy?" This isn't even a hard decision, Toby. "Sin Wagon" is fucking awesome. It is true that the Chicks don't write all their own music (until this last album anyway), but still...no way, man. No way.
And "hate me if you want to, love me if you can?" Are you even for real with that shit? Because you see what you've done there, right? You see the implication? You don't seem to be illiterate, so I'm assuming you wrote that knowing full well what the implications were. I have to admit, hating you after the Dixie Chicks feud and the absolutely enraging "boot in your ass" song is the easy route. But love you if I can? As if it were the noble thing to do, to love you in spite of the fact that you are an ass. No, thanks. I guess I fail your moral test here, but I'd rather give my love to people who do not sing ignorant songs that make those of us who listen to country music seem like jingoistic asswipes.
In fact, I think that you, Toby, need to go back and listen to some old country music. Try Waylon Jennings' "America" for starters. You clearly enjoy the music of Waylon Jennings, seein how you totally ripped it off for "Honkytonk U." See how it is positive about America, while also offering criticism of America, and still manages not to be offensively jingoistic? Do you see how Waylon even mentions Vietnam-era draft dodgers without implying that they were cowards or immoral? Indeed, to my ears, it sounds like he's implying quite the opposite. Do you see? You could try that--try expressing your affection for your homeland without pissing off everyone else in the entire goddamn world and giving the world the impression that Americans are still a bunch of backward, redneck sadists out looking for a fight.
And then you cannot even be serious about this comparing yourself to Jesus thing. I'm not even Christian, and that makes me so angry I can barely go on typing. Dude, you are not Jesus. You aren't even David Koresh, you fuck. No, no--it's outrageous, it's unbelievable, it is so mind-boggling it makes me want to curse in French.
Every time this song comes on the radio lately, I want to hurl my beer bottle with ferocity at the damn thing. Oh, my God. You and Reba McEntire--both of y'all just need to go straight to hell, or at the very least get off my damn radio before the whole thing comes crashing down in a puddle of glass shards and Fat Tire.
But, see, Toby. I don't have to hate you anymore. Because from now on YOU ARE DEAD TO ME.
Now, how about we listen to some Chicks:
Audio: Share a song guaranteed to get your party started.
Submitted by Felipe Anuel.
Well, the thing is that there are different kinds of parties, with different sets of friends, different drinks, and different music. Plus, it was Friday back when I started answering this, and that means it was time for a 5.
1. The Redneck Party: Or, the Party that would totally appall Lokii.
The drinks served would be cheapish beer, sangria, and Jack. Food served would include nachos and, oh, maybe some cocktail wieners.
Also on the playlist would be this gem--almost required at a redneck party:
2. The Missoula Party:
Drinks served would likely include Missoula microbrews and some sort of cocktail. Food would be cheese and crackers that Ken Twist stole from a motel room. Seriously.
Oh, no question it has to be a Volumen song. And this one always gets me going:
3. Fiesta!
Drinks: Mojitos and batidas. Food: Empanadas and arepas. Dancing: Sexy. Bring it.
4. Party for Two:
Food and drink are unimportant at this type of party.
Marvin Gaye is certainly always welcome at this party as well. I don't mean Marvin Gaye, the man, as he is long-since dead and probably not singing all that well these days. But Marvin Gaye, the music, is always a good thing at this type of party.
5. Stoner party.
Drinks are unimportant but should probably include clear, cool water. Food is of the utmost importance and should revolve heavily around Doritos.
So, there you go. Five parties for a Friday night (now early Saturday morning, as I learned the joys of file sharing, since I have apparently lost some of my CDs). Actually I only have the Camper van Beethoven on vinyl, which prompted rude comments from some quarters about my age. Feh. I'll show you whippersnappers who knows how to party.
Hey, brother. This song is a big hit right now on country radio, and it makes me think of you and our discussion about geeks all the time. Here's a link to the YouTube video:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7GcVnhNjWV0
And the lyrics:
Online by Brad Paisley.
I work down at the Pizza Pit
And I drive an old Hyundai
I still live with my mom and dad
I'm 5 foot 3 and overweight
I'm a scifi fanatic
A mild asthmatic
And I've never been to second base
But there's whole 'nother me
That you need to see
Go checkout MySpace
'Cause online I'm out in Hollywood
I'm 6 foot 5 and I look damn good
I drive a Maserati
I'm a black-belt in karate
And I love a good glass of wine
It turns girls on that I'm mysterious
I tell them I don't want nothing serious
'Cause even on a slow day
I could have a three way
Chat with two women at one time
I'm so much cooler online
So much cooler online
When I get home I kiss my mom
And she fixes me a snack
And I head down to my basement bedroom
And fire up my Mac
In real life the only time I've ever even been to L.A
Is when I got the chance with the marching band
To play tuba in the Rose Parade
[ Online lyrics found on http://www.completealbumlyrics.com ]
Online I live in Malibu
I pose for Calvin Klein, I've been in GQ
I'm single and I'm rich
And I've got a set of six pack abs that would blow your mind
It turns girls on that I'm mysterious
I tell them I don't want nothing serious
'Cause even on a slow day
I could have a three way
Chat with two women at one time
I'm so much cooler online
So much cooler online
When you got my kind of stats
It's hard to get a date
Let alone a real girlfriend
But I grow another foot and I lose a bunch of weight
Every time I login
Online
I'm out in Hollywood
I'm 6 foot 5 and I look damn good
Even on a slow day
I could have a three way
Chat with two women at one time
I'm so much cooler online
Yeah, I'm cooler online
I'm so much cooler online
Yeah, I'm cooler online
Yeah, I'm cooler online
Yeah, I'll see ya online
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Voxercise! Updated: 2 days ago
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Explore friends, family, friends & family, or entire neighborhood.
