Warning: Totally Racist Post
I don't know if I've ever really mentioned it here before, but I suffer from a bad case of yellow fever. No, no, not the actual disease.
Usually, yellow fever appears to only manifest itself in white guys from any of the Occidental nations, but most especially (it seems) the US, Canada, and Australia (this is based solely on my personal experience). Most frequently, it's the anime/manga freaks who seek out Japanese chicks thinking, I guess, that all Japanese girls have pink hair and big breasts and dig tentacles.
I find this kind of yellow fever to be alarming and somewhat disgusting. Most of these white guys I've known with this affliction suffer under the delusion that Asian girls are more subservient, less demanding, easier to control. I mentioned before that one guy I met in Japan whose complaint about American girls was that we "have goals." Japanese girls, the only girls he dated, don't, I guess? Sexist pig.
I have questioned myself many times about whether I'm being hypocritical here. I haven't dated a white guy since my first divorce--not one. Korean? Yes! Japanese? Yes! Singaporean? Yes! Indian? Yes! Filipino? Yes! Vietnamese? Woot!
I will cop to a certain amount of racism on this issue, but I don't think the sexism issue that bothers me about the type of yellow fever I mentioned above applies to me. I don't have any preconceptions about Asian guys being, well, anything in particular. For one thing, "Asian" includes a lot of different people. I could make some generalizations about the menfolk of various countries/nationalities, but they would just be generalizations and I don't judge my potential companions on generalizations. I judge them individually.
I don't know if this is horrible of me or not, but it's an aesthetic I'm after. The shiny black hair. The dark brown eyes. It's pretty simple, really, and in some basic way, I doubt you can help the types that you're attracted to. Because the attraction is of a rather simple nature, though, I can find myself having equally inappropriate thoughts about both Harold and Kumar. I mean, sure, they're both Asian-American, but beyond the shiny black hair and the dark brown eyes, they don't share a lot of other features, right? Some quality like "Asian-ness" maybe? But then, what would that quality be?
I warned you. Sorry.
Anyway, what I was wondering tonight, while having a brief daydream about Governor Bobby Jindal of Louisiana (just don't ask), is why Americans generally have more positive stereotypes of Asian-Americans than of any other racial minority. I am of course not suggesting that Asians are not still the victims of racism at times; they are. But there is also a general stereotype that Asians are smarter than average, much harder working than average, basically decent, mostly unlikely to cause trouble, likely to succeed and be good family people and so on. I have an uncle in Phoenix who used to handle the hiring for his company and tried to hire as many Vietnamese immigrants as possible because he first had these ideas of Asian workers in mind and then found them to be true. Again, I am quite aware that Asian Americans are still targeted by racists, but I also wonder if it was overall easier for, say, Indian doctors to gain acceptance from patients than black doctors. Who knows? I guess it would be hard to quantify such a thing. There are more Indian doctors than black doctors, so possibly.
Someone recently suggested that our next minority president might well be an Asian American and even tossed out Governor Jindal's name (and Kal Penn's as well) as potential candidates, precisely because we have these stereotypes. I don't have much of an opinion one way or the other about either of those potential candidates (if Kumar runs, though, will Harold be his running mate? God, that would be awesome!), but I might start collecting their publicity shots.
If we ever do think about Asians as having some quality such as Asian-ness, then, is that what it is? Is Asian-ness being smarter and more prone to geekiness than the average member of American society? Despite all the differences, both individual differences among the billions of individuals who are Asian and cultural among the various nations and cultures of Asia, I think a lot of people have this idea about Asians in general. Maybe my attraction to Asian men isn't so simple, then. Maybe it's because I like smart, geeky guys, and somewhere in my subconscious I believe the stereotypes. It would have to be in the subconscious because experience has taught me that it ain't necessarily so.
So maybe it is just the hair.
Well, anyway, I'm going to go wake up my long-suffering (Japanese) husband and make him reassure me that I'm not a racist...or at least not a bad racist.
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No, you're not racist. You're just more aware of the subtleties of this thing called "race" than most people. And I'm talking awareness about stuff that's a lot deeper than the redneck, banjo-playing brand of racism - the very issues about race and culture that you've touched on.
The elephant in the room is that yes, there is such a thing as Asian-ness. Trust me, I know (and you'd understand why).
I am almost certain that your husband - no matter how Westernised he may be - will almost surely have a set of core attributes which will always remain inalienably Japanese to the core. You will know what these are, I'm sure.
I also believe that an individual's culture is an extremely powerful shaper and influencer of someone's character.
However, genetics is also an equally powerful force. Consider minority children who are adopted by parents of a different racial background. These kids will be great and totally well-adjusted generally, but they will always have this nagging, gnawing need to retrace a part of their roots at some point in time. I do believe that you can't un-wire something that's part of your genetic maekup.
Culture and genetics - they're part of who we are. That's just the way it is.
Great post!
Yeah, I don't get the Asian stereotype thing, either. I once dated a guy who later broke up with me because I was more Westernized than he expected. Christ - I grew up in LA! What did you expect? Later we had a good laugh about it, but it was still so bizarre. The other odd thing I remember was my now sister-in-law telling me a few years ago how she wished she would have an Asian baby because "they're so much cuter and you know they'll be smart!" Huh?
As for me, I've never dated an Asian man. I like tall men with blue eyes and, well, you don't find many Asian men with those features. And as much as I love my father, he was (still is) a very distant man when it came to dealing with my sister and me, and he's also pretty self-centered. That's probably why I steered clear of Filipino men. That's not to say that only Filipino men are like that (I think it's actually a man-thing), nor is it to say that my husband isn't pretty self-centered at times, but that was a quality I really wanted to avoid in a mate.
There are exceptions obviously, and I've witnessed some older people that don't see Asians as smart and decent. They tend to come from war generations where their memories are steeped in seeing Asians in horrible, pitiful conditions, rather than as Doctors or IT Managers....basically, someone like John McCain whose experience as a POW was probably his first exposure to Asians, and therefore imprinted so powerfully he can't let go of that. I think you can get over it, but many people choose not to.
I've always been deeply disturbed by the type of yellow fever you've linked to. In college, I encountered a few men who admired or approached me for my appearance, only to disregard me because I wasn't going to fetch their meals with gratitude (or worse acts of subservience in the bedroom) or who continued to see me simply as a sexual object, ignoring me as a whole person. That said, I wasn't offended if someone I dated liked Asian women specifically. We have cultural and physical preferences, and that isn't racist. So, if you are pointing the question at yourself, I don't believe you are. After all, we DO have amazing hair!
I also agree with Ninja in his response.
The positive Asian–American image (excepting the Middle East at the moment) has been down to the early immigrants, in my view: the family-centredness, the industry, the academic achievement for their children. But I think these are not uncommon traits with any immigrant group. The type of person who emigrates was usually a hard worker who left an oppressive nation for one with opportunity. (These days, there are some who might emigrate for the sake of a change or an experience, though of course there are still many more who do for the same old reasons.)
We admire these values because we know them to be right and in some cases, we cannot replicate them because we have been suckered in to the more self-centred way occidental societies work.
The reason those descended from whites have lost this family orientation is not singular. The first would be the length of time Caucasian–Americans have been in the country. They have had time to become the establishment and the majority race. Perhaps with the family unit secure and less of a need for the young to look after the old, individual endeavour became more important. They were expected to start their own families and enjoy the promised freedoms. Whatever the case, Caucasian society evolved.
Asian–Americans have not been there as long, plus there is the issue of appearance. There is still racism. So they are forced to remain more family-centric, feeling that society has not embraced them. The same forces that have changed Caucasian–American families have not affected Asian–American ones. While many Asian–Americans are well off now, there may be a feeling that with society’s racism, they are compelled to stick together. Secondly, there is probably an underlying core attribute among some, as Ninja says, that binds Asian families together.
I do not think you are racist with your earlier dating preferences. I have not dated my own race, but it is more due to population—the chances of my dating someone my own race is 1 in 20 here.
Yes, I believe there is something like "Asian-ness" just as there is something called "European-ness," although I personally think there is more difference among the vastness of Asia (particularly if you do include the Middle East) than there is in Europe. That's one of the reasons I get so irritated when people talk about "Asian food" but never "European food." My husband really isn't very Westernized, except in some superficial ways. I absolutely agree with you that someone's culture shapes them in profound ways, usually even in ways that they don't even realize (I know this is true of me, but I never realized how deeply American I am until I went to Japan).
As for genetics, we often joke that our son is so incredibly, vivaciously healthy and smart because he got "hybrid vigor." It's only a half joke, of course. For some reason, it seems not to be OK to talk about that with people, only with plants and some animals, but it's a real enough thing in people, too. You don't always get hybrid vigor, but we sure did. Our son is one smart little pup.
Well, there are a lot of Japanese guys now who wear blue contacts to be fashionable, but personally I just think it looks creepy. Not just because I like their brown eyes the way they are, but also because it just looks incredibly unnatural.
That's funny about the guy who thought you were too Westernized. I have heard that said about Asian-American girls, too, and it's all just part of the stereotype of how Asian girls are supposed to be and act.
The war issue is interesting. My uncle I mentioned who likes to hire Vietnamese people probably was first exposed to Vietnamese people (or any Asian people, most likely) when he was a soldier in the Vietnam War. My dad, too, had his first exposure to Asians in the Vietnam War and he came away from that with great respect for all the people of Southeast Asia and Japan (the countries he was stationed in at various times--it's nothing against Korea or China, but he just never went to either place). But WWII vets in particular seem to still carry prejudices and grudges against the Japanese that they don't similarly carry against, say, the Germans. I've taken some Japanese friends (and then my husband) to my grandma's house before, and her last husband (now deceased) had been in the Pacific theater of WWII and would occasionally slip and say something, in front of my friends, about how the Japanese were evil or something. It was mortifying, truly. But I actually thought it was worse when he would ask my husband at length questions like: Do you have salt in Japan? Do you have fruit in Japan? Is there coffee in Japan? Or, my favorite: Do you all have cars in Japan? I was like, "Haven't you ever heard of Honda, asshole?"
I do think that it's more acceptable still for a Caucasian guy to marry an Asian woman than for a Caucasian woman to marry an Asian man. Some families do seem to think that Asian women will be good wives and mothers, but they don't have a corresponding stereotype about Asian men (unless they're married to Asian women). Or maybe it just goes back to the old and incredibly stupid idea of protecting the white women. My husband and I haven't really faced any problems or discrimination because of our relationship, but where military men marrying Asian women is common enough, nobody really thought I'd bring back a husband from Japan.
There is truth in what you say. I also think part of why we have the stereotype, too, is that we tend to get the cream of the Asian crop immigrating here. As a group, Asian immigrants who come here are already fairly well educated and are prepared to run businesses and help their kids do well in school and all of that. Such people are more likely to have both the will and the means to emigrate, whether to America or some other Western country.
So, perhaps our next president will be an Asian-American. Or if not the next one, then soon. psst--it could be you!
The car question your husband got asked is hilarious, considering that there is probably not a street in the world where there is not a Japanese car.
Haha...exactly.
Yes, there are a lot of white guys (and even black guys) who like Asian girls or just happen to date them sometimes without being sleazy about it. But then there are these sleazy guys, and I met many of them while I was in Japan, and it's creepy. It's interesting in that these guys seem to sometimes have open hostility toward white women, especially American ones.
And you're right about the media and the way it portrays crime and who's committing crimes. I forget sometimes because I don't watch a lot of that kind of news anymore. I mean, in Idaho, our local news almost never has news of gang violence or murder--just doesn't happen much here. And the national news I watch/read isn't very crime-oriented either, more political. But I have seen Romeo Must Die like 100 times and that's about the Chinese mafia in San Francisco. I'm sure it's very accurate.
I can't believe people would assume that about you just because of Masa. Idiots. Actually no one seems to assume it of me, even though in my case it's true, but I think it's just less common and to some extent less socially acceptable for a white woman to be "into Asians." Anyway, it isn't any of anyone else's business what you may or may not be "into." Goodness.
If you can't play nice, then I will have to ask you to take your ball and go home.
Also, you're delusional.
Finally, are you referencing that Violent Femmes song with John Zorn's broken sax solo? I love that song.
Well, one more thing, since when are you a Zapatista?
After looking again at the groups you belong to I just figured people will post, join or host anything they want because this is their blog but I must ask this simple question. Doesn't it go a tad bit overboard with the thumbnail picture of the WASP group you are hosting? The Thomas Shipp and Abram Smith lynchings (click here for more info) is not something to be proud of insofar as a meeting place for like minded white causes and interests is concerned. What I have read of your posts in the last several months does not lead me to believe you are some hidden extremist.
Respectfully,
xmangerm
I don't think I'm hosting that group, am I? I certainly hope not, although there's no activity in that group anyway. It was just started because a friend of mine, who I thought was the host and is of Asian descent, thought it was stupid that there is an "Asian" group but "Asian" is such a heterogenous group that he thought it was a meaningless group label, akin to having a "white" group.
I agree with you about the picture. I didn't choose that picture and wouldn't have. I guess if I'm the host I could change it, could I? I didn't know I was host. I hate that picture, so perhaps I will, even though nobody actually posts to that group.
Thanks.
I agree with you about the picture: it is horrible.