QotD: Grown-Up Boot Camp

What are three things you want to learn, and three things you can teach others to do? 
Submitted by bookishbiker.

I really think the title should be something like "The Blind Leading the Blind," but I have to assume that the National Association for the Advancement of the Seeing Impaired would take umbrage, and Vox certainly doesn't need a lawsuit.

Um, anyway--to answer the question:

Three things I want to learn:

1. KUNG FU!!!
2. How to brew my own beer.
3. Que sera.

Three things I can teach others to do:

1. Rant and rave.  Is that two things?
2. Sing every song that has ever appeared in any episode of The Wonder Pets.  "What's gonna work?  Teamwork.  What's gonna work?  Teamwork.  Lenny, Tuck, and MingMing, too--we're Wonder Pets, and we'll help you!"  God help me.
3. Speak a good appromixation of American English.  Totally lame exhortations to cooperate with team members included.

One thing I failed to teach my son to do today, though at the outset it seemed an easy task, was spread peanut butter evenly and generously on a pine cone (we were making bird feeders--alleged bird feeders).  Every time I tried I was met with the very cheerful reply, "Yes, and I can eat the peanut butter"--and he did.