QotD: Green Living

How green is your school, office, or home?
Sponsored by One Million Acts of Green brought to you by Cisco.

I'm so sick of "green," you can't even fucking imagine.  Ooh, everyone in a competition to be the greenest act in town--mostly by buying yet more crap or jetting off to some conference somewhere.  Oh, sure, I admit I was pleased--so pleased!!--to be lectured at by Obama who thinks it's somehow appropriately green to take the helicopter to Chicago for the weekend because he's homesick.  Sure, sure...it's not your helicopter that's the problem, Mr. President. 

See, there's a lot that bothers me about this stupid "green" thing.  First, it's been turned by the capitalist machine into yet another consumerist trend.  Second, I can think of hardly anyone at all who doesn't think that it's everyone else who needs to green up, while their own habits and behaviors are perfectly OK.  I remember when Slate published that piece urging people to "date local" instead of having long-distance--and thus fossil-fuel-intensive--relationships, and people who considered themselves quite "green" (but I drive a Prius!  and have a Sigg bottle!) were all incensed that they should have to give up their weekly plane trips to wherever their companions live.  Ah, so much for green.  Nah, it's always other people who are to blame, and especially, it appears, rural people because of our silly refusal to implement public transportation or whatever.  Third, there is hardly any subject anymore about which people get more smug and sanctimonious, and it is generally the case that the smugger people are, the less I want to associate with them.  Fourth, seriously, I cannot take part in any cause that has motherfucking Ed Begley, Jr. as one of its prime movers.  Ed Norton, maybe I could get behind, because at least he's talented and I admit to finding him rather comely.  But Begley--ach. 

Don't get me wrong.  I hate seeing waste, whether of food or energy or whatever.  I do, and I wish Americans would be less wasteful overall.  But I can't get behind anything as groupthinky as this "green" business. 

I will wager a week's salary that that is not the answer you were expecting.