QotD: Banned From the Karaoke List

Sep 19, 2007 at 10:24 PM
2 comments

What song do you wish would never show up on a karaoke list?

It must be said: I love Prince, but I really wish no Prince song was ever in a karaoke list. Because inevitably some hayseed white guy gets drunk enough that he thinks he can Prince. You can't Prince, whiteboy. Not even close. No one wants to hear you get up and do some wack-ass, cracking high-pitched voice and entreat us to give you our extra time and our kiss. Go, like, sing some ABBA or some shit and leave the Prince to the Prince. Fuckin cracker.

Although, on the other hand, I could really do without ever hearing anyone sing "Dancing Queen" again, even ABBA themselves.

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Oooh, agreed. Though I do have a white boy friend who can Prince. He's also delivered the best rendition of Olivia Newton John's "Physical" I've ever heard. And, he's straight. Seriously.

Can we add just about anything Phil Collins or Journey to that list? I love Journey, I do. But I really can't stand you screwing that up. And if I hear one more 2 a.m. "Take a look at me now" by a drunk 21 year old, I'm not sure I can take it.

The worst karaoke song I ever saw was a late-30s woman who had clearly come to the bar by herself and sang whatever that Celine Dion song was from Titanic. (I know it, I do, the name's just escaping me.) I'm sure it sounds good in your car, sweetheart, but PLEASE don't do it at a hipster bar. It's not ironic, it's just sad.

Ooh, yikes. I'm all for banning Phil Collins and Journey, too. I was thinking about it later, and I realized two things. The first is that I also have a white, straight male friend who can totally Prince. Indeed, his band did a live show once that was all Prince covers, and you could believe he was somehow channeling Prince himself. It was fantastic.

Also, I think maybe karaoke should be full of Bob Dylan and Violent Femmes songs, because nearly anyone can sing that well.