I Suck...and more

I suck because I totally caved since I have paid employment, more or less, and got satellite TV.  Seriously.  Out here if you don't have satellite, you have pretty much nothing (ABC is all). 

We got the 200-channel package.  Had to, to get Bravo so I could get back in on the Project Runway/Top Chef thing.  Tim Gunn is really necessary.

I didn't realize just how much I missed The Daily Show and Colbert, either.  I am still in awe that Hodgman compared the business model of al Qaeda to that of Quiznos. 

So, yeah, we're back on the TV.  Feh.

Anyway.  I'm down here shopping for seeds.  I've been studying--and I do mean studying--seed catalogs and gardening books for months now, and I have a game plan.  We're going to grow everything.  Possibly I have gone insane. 

Because, see, I live in Idaho.  Idaho is fairly far north.  The entire month of January this year, it did not once get above freezing.  Yet I just ordered a collection of seeds for a "tropical garden."  Just who do I think I'm kidding?

I think I can make it work.  It gets quite hot here in the summers.  The issues will be a) keeping tropical plants moist enough and b) getting them a long enough hot season.  The moisture issue can be controlled in large part with generous mulching.  Getting them extra hot days is going to take various types of plastic coverings.  Keep your fingers crossed for me, people, because we are also growing sesame, sweet potatoes, and peanuts.  I'm fascinated by the growth habit of peanuts, and I had to try to grow some.  But none of these things are even close to being adapted to this area. 

We're also growing a vast assortment of crazy Japanese veggies this year.  T grew up on a farm north of Tokyo, though, and he's grown all these things before (including sesame) and he thinks, with the exception of the peanuts, that we can get it all to work here.  He thinks the peanuts are just madness. 

He also, if he lets himself think about it too much, thinks the quantity of tomato plants we are planning to install is madness.  We might oughtn't go into numbers here--but let's say it's north of 50, south of 100, and they're going in at different times so we have staggered production.  So that makes it all OK.

Anyway, the goals this year are three.  The first is to improve the quality of the soil.  This "soil" we have here is terrible.  It had nothing but grass for who knows how long, and it's near worthless.  We have been adding organic matter to it--llama poo, hay, veggie waste, etc.--but it needs more.  In a few places we need hardpan broken up.  So, I have concocted a scheme to alternate crops and cover crops (the cover crops will serve multiple purposes including breaking up the packed dirt, adding nitrogen and phosphorus, and providing us and the chickens with some greens (mostly the chickens). 

The second big goal is moving to as close to year-round gardening as it will be possible to get here without a heated greenhouse.  We have been debating building a heated greenhouse, but since we're not staying in this house permanently, it seems like a big thing.  Anyway, if the weather cooperates, our first things will start going in the ground just after St. Patty's Day.  The last things will be planted in September--of those, some will be harvested in late October or even early-to-mid November, some will get mulched and stored in-ground (carrots, parsnips, leeks, etc.), and some will overwinter to produce the next year (garlic, shallots, etc.)  That only leaves us with 3 months in which we have nothing growing out there and even less time with no fresh veg at all.  To hell with the supermarket.

And the third goal is DAMN we need windbreaks and shade.  I mean, DAMN.  These hot, dry winds of Hades rip across our garden from the south and EAT OUR SHIT UP.  The tomatoes, which I put along the south fence not knowing about the hell-winds, did not like it one bit last year.  My poor, beloved Brandywines.  I shall treat you better this year, my pretties.  Anyway, a windbreak of mixed shrubbery is going in there--some rosa rugosa, some nanking cherries, some chokecherries.  It should be quite fetching and protect my beautiful little tomatoes from Satan himself.  Another group of shrubs will go along the back of the house to absorb some of the afternoon heat that beats down right into my kitchen, the kitchen that is already hot from all the canning and has a window that DOES NOT OPEN.  Last summer was unbearable.  We are also planting a couple of trees back there and a big forest of tall sunflowers to provide some relief from it all (not to mention tasty seeds for snackin'). 

*sigh*  So much to do!  I want to get out there right now, but the foot and a half or so of snow left on the ground suggests it is not quite the time.

But I do have the seed catalogs, both online and off.  I wonder at the variety of seeds available.  We're trying to go mostly with open pollinated seeds so we can save them and even then, there are thousands of kinds.  Hell, there are probably thousands of kinds just of tomatoes.  I want to try them all, too.  Fortunately, I think we're going to sell some of it at the farmer's market this year, so I can justify all that zucchini (the catalog need only say "Italian heirloom variety" and I'm ready with the order form).

I'm browsing the catalog of the Southern Exposure Seed Exchange right now, and I have just suddenly become convinced that I must grow chervil.  And horehound.  And...