Hating Paris

I just have to make a comment about this.

While I do find it repulsive and outrageous that America has become so obsessed with celebrities--to the point where they often, yes, know more about the crash-and-burn starlets than they know about the war in Iraq or our government--I am not really comfortable with the implications of this article.  I am sure there are a lot of morally indignant people who want to see Paris Hilton burn or rot in jail or something because she is a slut, and a rich, skinny slut to boot. 

That isn't, though, why I find it reprehensible that she's out of jail.  I don't really care how skinny she is or how rich or how many men she's slept with, and quite frankly I find her to be one of the most asexual people I've ever laid eyes on.  Marilyn Monroe, she certainly isn't.

No, I think she belongs in jail for the very simple reason that I think drunk driving is a crime that deserves serious punishment.  It is a serious crime.  It is true that she didn't kill anyone--not yet.  Most drunk drivers do not kill anyone on their first or even second offenses.  Hell, most drunk drivers probably never do kill or injure anyone--particularly when you consider how many drunk drivers there are, counting high school and college students here. 

Unfortunately, though, many drunk drivers do end up killing and injuring people: 

"According to preliminary data from the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration (NHTSA), in 2006, 17,941 people were killed in alcohol-related crashes - an average of one every half-hour. These deaths constituted approximately 41 percent of the 43,300 total traffic fatalities.  Drunk (those at or above an illegal BAC of .08) drivers were involved in 13990 fatalities in 2006."

Did you get that?  That's 17,941 fatalities last year related to alcohol, a mere 13,990 of which involved legally drunk drivers.  To compare, guess how many homicides were committed in the United States in 2005 (I can't find stats for 2006):  14,860.  Many people, myself included, are for strict gun control legislation, particularly of handguns, which are by far the most common guns used in homicides.  In 2005, 68% of the 14,860 homicides were committed with guns.

Give me a minute to do the math.  Aww, fuck it--let's estimate, because it's not important at all.  Something like 7000-8000 more people died as a result of driving under the influence than by guns?  That's about right.

The point is that drunk driving is a very serious crime, and we need to start treating it that way.  Paris Hilton has not and may never kill anyone, but she might have served in this case as a symbol.  It might have got the point across that we regard violating this particular law seriously if she had served any kind of serious sentence.  Instead, the message is that (certainly if you're rich and of feeble constitution) it doesn't matter at all.  Sorry we kept you from your important parties, miss.  Go ahead--go kill some lovely family of four who was out for a drive. 

People think I'm all crazy being so uptight about following traffic laws.  I know it's terrifically uncool not to speed and to actually stop at stop signs.  I'd much prefer to be alive than to be cool, though, and so I do follow traffic laws and also good defensive driving.  I have not--in 17+ years of being a licensed driver--ever received a traffic ticket, and I have not ever been involved in an accident involving another vehicle (I have tragically hit patches of black ice and slid off the road.  I also nearly rolled a car going too fast on a gravel road before I was even licensed--but, hey, at least my stupidity would have only injured myself).  I have never been injured in a traffic-related incident. 

There are over 43,000 traffic fatalities each year in this country.  I prefer to drive defensively than to put myself or my son--or anyone else--among those 43,000. 

In my own life, I have known victims of drunk driving--one of them, as previously noted, was my father's best friend, and my father was the drunk driver.  (He was never really punished for that, either, except by his own conscience.)  Maybe that's why I see it as so serious.  Maybe, like the war, it takes on more urgency to those it has touched. 

Admittedly I am not terribly surprised Paris is out of jail, and it's so expected as to not make me outraged.  I should be, though.  Not because she's a slut or blonde or rich or totally annoying.  No--we should all be outraged because she committed a serious crime for which she will effectively pay no penalty (um, yeah, the ankle bracelet--right).  True, her crimes are not quite on the level of GW's crimes; that is certainly true, and GW's crimes have not exactly been nonviolent, victimless crimes, either.  How I wish the worst he had done involved somewhat silly interns.

Hmmm.  It seems like I'm forgetting something.  Something like "all equal under the law."  No, no.  What a silly, outdated notion.  Maybe it was something about how if she'd been poor or black or--no, not that either, as even poor people rarely face serious penalties for drunk driving that involves no fatalities.  No, I guess that's it, then.  Oh, wait--I think it was that I sincerely need a drink now.

UPDATE:  I have just read that Paris Hilton is going back to jail.  What a constantly entertaining circus the Los Angeles courts are.